When Life Couldn't Get Any Weirder
by Echos in my head
Summary: ...We prove that wrong. Several times over. Crackfics written by Echos in my head and Whateva876. Revamping to a Totally Legal version in process.
1. Getting High, Dora Land and Fast Cars

Getting High, Dora Land and Fast Cars

_It's been revamped. Totally legal._

* * *

><p>Echo stepped into the Fanfiction universe, and was greeted with an unwelcome sight. "GUYS! THERE'S A HOBO DUCT TAPED TO THE CEILING AGAIN!"<p>

Lahetta was giggling nervously, not going unnoticed by Whateva. "Damn it, Lahetta. Again?!"

"Drugs again?" Shadow guessed.

Fire was panicking slightly. "Who cares why? There's a hobo on the ceiling! Get him down before he falls on us!"

Will shoved past everyone, even though she wasn't there a second ago. She walked to the wall, put her feet on it and walked vertically upward, until she reached the ceiling where she defied gravity in order to set the hobo loose. She set him gently on the floor.

The others were dumbstruck. "Well that's new," Echo commented.

"Will! How did you do that?" Fire asked.

Will blinked, still upside-down from her position on the ceiling. "I don't know." All of a sudden, Will plummeted to the ground.

Sun walked over and examined the Wocky. "She'll be fine. Slight chance of a concussion, though."

"Since when were you a doctor?" Whateva questioned, slightly guilty for not noticing.

Sun looked up from Will. "Remember when you were in that fangirl coma?"

Lahetta giggled. "Of course! It wasn't long ago..."

Sudden realisation struck Whateva. "Hey, I think we just had our first reference. Kind of." There was scattered applause in reply to this. Sun opened her mouth to say something, but forgot what her words were.

"This isn't the first reference," Echo pointed out. "I've referenced Steve the Garbage Truck Guy before. So it's not your first reference. And there's been a few NTDT references here and there."

Will let out a cough and sat up slowly, shaking her head.

Fire was at her side in an instant. "Will! How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"You climbed a wall, like Spyderman," Fire answered.

"I really don't know," Will admitted.

"Really? Fuck." Whateva seemed disappointed.

Lahetta was starting to sober up from her drug intake. "How did that hobo get up there anyways?"

"Wait... You mean you didn't do it?" Sun asked in confusion.

"I just got high. And, I don't hate hobos enough to actually stick one to the ceiling," Lahetta clarified, sounding offended. Her confession caused everybody to look at each other, suspicious.

"I think this calls for our old friend Voice," Echo said.

Sure enough, a disembodied voice came out of nowhere and said, "Who stuck the hobo to the ceiling? Was it... Echo?"

"Nope," Echo denied.

"Whateva?"

"Fuck off. I would've used chains, not tape," Whateva responded.

"And attach the chains to the ceiling? Wouldn't that take a while?" Echo questioned, but not getting an answer.

"Will?"

"No," Will denied.

"Lahetta?"

"FUCK, I ALREADY SAID NO! GO TO HELL AND DIE!"

"Fire?"

"Why would I waste my time with something like that?" Fire asked scornfully.

"Alivia?"

"Hell no! What if I broke a nail?" Alivia panicked at the very thought.

"We don't have nails," Lahetta reminded her sister.

"Still!" Alivia persisted.

"Sun?"

Said Usul had enough of these questions. "NO! STOP INTERROGATING US AND ASK SOMEONE V.E!"

"Dusty?"

"Now it's just making fun of Sun's outburst," Echo said with minimal amusement.

Dusty rolled her eyes. "No."

"Shadow?"

Said Xweetok looked down. "Maybe..."

Echo sighed. "It's always the quiet ones..."

"I'm quiet, outside of my alias," Whateva stated.

"Now that this is settled, who wants pie?" Lahetta asked, sobering up.

* * *

><p>In a nearby pie restaurant, Echo was shoveling cherry pie into her mouth in a fashion that was causing onlookers to wrinkle their noses in disgust. However, it was not nearly as bad as how Whateva was eating. She had completely given up on utensils, and was just shoving cream pie in with her hands. These two were not lady-like in any way, and the customers had come to see.<p>

Lahetta was upset with her pot pie, and wondered why she even ordered it. "Is this even a pie?!"

Sun glared at her. "I have Oreo pie, that's much worse. It's actually good, though..."

Shadow was perfectly content with her peach pie, and was eating it slowly with her fork. Fire was chewing her chocolate cream pie when she had a thought. Swallowing, she asked, "What happened to the hobo?"

To answer her question, the hobo came over to their booth with his own slice of apple pie. Will stared at him, then down at her blueberry pie. "I don't even know anymore," she said to her pie. The pie, being a pastry crust with fruit filling, didn't answer her.

Echo, meanwhile, had moved on to her third slice of pie, and had challenged herself by eating it with her hands behind her back. She kept laughing.

Whateva had actually gone to stealing somebody else's pie, and was shoveling it in. "I love this place!"

Meanwhile, Lahetta had gotten bored and had a thought. Sitting next to the hobo, she asked. "What are the activities of the modern hobo?"

"Uh..." The hobo scratched his filthy hair. "Sleeping, eating what I can get, asking for money, drugs-"

"NO!" Fire completely lost it for reasons beyond anyone's understanding. "I'VE HAD IT WITH THE FUCKING DRUGS! ARMIN, WHATEVA, KELLY, EVERYONE JUST STOP TAKING DRUGS FOR ONE DAY! OR IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?" Fire's breathing was heavy and her fur was on end.

"Fire." Will's voice was firm. "Calm the fuck down."

Fire took some deep breaths. Will was the only one who could calm her down that quickly.

Echo looked up from her pie. Fruit filling was all over her face. "You forgot about the time when I had Armin's French Toast," she reminded her pet.

"And my occasional LSD," Lahetta pointed out.

"And most of my drugged moments were not of my free will," Whateva reminded her.

"That's true," Echo mused. "Most of the time they're shoved down your throat." Then her eyes lit up. "OH MY FYORA, I HAVE AN IDEA! AND IT'S _TERRIBLE!_

"Let's hear it," Shadow said quietly.

"We all get high, and see how we react. But we can't all get high at the same, or else we'll end up in some random universe filled with rubber ducks and tinsel," Echo stated proudly.

"I second that!"

"Me too!"

And so later, they left the pie restaurant to go to a giant expanse of empty land.

"Who's the unlucky person that goes first?" Sun questioned, grinning.

"Someone who hasn't gone yet," Echo commanded. "So someone who isn't me, Whateva, Lahetta or Shadow."

"That was one time!" Shadow claimed defensively.

"This will be epic blackmail material." Whateva smirked as she pulled a video camera out, always carrying at least one.

"Any volunteers?" Echo asked. It seemed like she was challenging everybody.

Dusty raised her hand grudgingly. "Fine."

Voice came out of nowhere again and announced, "Dusty will have to choose her drug. We have coke, LSD, weed or heroin."

Dusty chose heroin, and it was found out that she only giggled when high.

"That's it? That's a bit disappointing." Echo frowned.

Armin v.E and Garin v.E had also apparently joined their ranks, and had gotten themselves high as well. When Armin v.E was high, he talked so quickly that his words jumbled together. "I know, right man?" he said in under two seconds.

"DUDE, SHE'S NOT A MAN. I DON'T THINK SO ANYWAY," Garin v.E replied.

Fire covered her sensitive ears. "Why does Garin scream when he's high?" she complained.

"I have no idea," Echo answered, bewildered.

"Next is Fire," Voice said.

Fire sighed. "Give me the French Toast."

After the drugs had reached her system, Fire was acting very strange indeed.

"So then, I was like BAM!" Fire punched the wall. "And they were all 'No, Fire, spare us please!' And do you know what I did? DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?"

"What did you do," Echo asked, smiling with amusement.

Fire turned away from the wall, ran over to Echo and grabbed her by her shirt's collar. "I told them to get their own gingerbread!"

"I'm sure you did," Will said.

Fire let go of Echo and began spinning around. "Then I went back to the trailer park and talked to a family of Symols. They were nice people." She sat on the ground, wiped out.

Whateva's face was disturbed. "Next?"

"Next is Alivia," Voice told them.

Said Wocky chose coke, and two minutes later she was choking Garin v.E violently. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO OUR CHILDREN?" she screamed.

Lahetta was freaked out, while Echo was slapping her knee in tune with her laughter. Whateva was more concerned about Garin's nonchalant attitude towards this. That is, until he began crying.

"I DON'T KNOW! THEY DISAPPEARED ON ME!" he said between tears.

Alivia wasn't finished. "WHAT'S THE BITCHES NAME?" she demanded, squeezing his neck tighter. "WHAT IS IT?"

Whateva finally decided to break this up, as Lahetta kept glaring at her. "C'mon, Alivia-"

"HELL NO!" Alivia screeched, punching Whateva away from her and effectively stunning everyone.

Whateva screamed as she painfully slammed against a wall.

"IT'S THE EVIL KOALA PEOPLE! THEY WILL DESTROY US ALL!" Fire shouted, smashing a window with a giant mallet.

Echo was just standing back and watching all this unfold with a funny little grin. "This is funny. I enjoy watching this."

Whateva rubbed her sore arm. "It really is," she agreed.

"We should probably wait until they've calmed down before drugging anyone else," Echo decided.

"Oh noooo," Lahetta said sarcastically.

A while later, everyone was back to normal, Armin and Garin v.E left, and it was Will's turn to drug herself. She opted for weed. It resulted in her skipping around and singing "Puff the Magic Dragon" very loudly.

"So I guess that Will sings songs with questionable lyrics when she's high," Echo concluded.

Alivia vividly remembered what shit had gone down, she looked down. "That didn't get on video, right?"

Whateva flashed her an evil grin. "I got it all on vide- SONOFABITCH I FUCKING FORGOT TO TURN IT ON!"

"Next is Sun," Voice announced. It was very good at its job.

Sun chose heroin, much to her sisters' surprise, and proceeded to run in giant circles.

Lahetta dodged the Usul's tail. "So she's incredibly hyper when she's high?"

Whateva made another evil grin and stopped the racing Usul in her tracks. "So Sun, having fun chasing the dragon?"

Alivia's jaw dropped, and she glared at her owner. "I could go worse," Whateva responded, noticing this.

An hour later, Sun was groaning in pain and clutching her head.

"Damn." Lahetta was beginning to re-think her LSD.

"Hey, Sun-" Whateva started.

"Don't you dar-" Alivia tried to threaten.

Whateva made an evil grin. "Want some more smack?"

Alivia glared at her. If looks could kill...

"And now the others will take drugs. Do we have any volunteers?" Voice asked.

"C'mon," Whateva grumbled.

Elva suddenly appeared, hoping Matt would be there. She was greatly disappointed when he wasn't.

"Wanna get high?" Whateva grinned, not being a very good mother-figure.

Elva shrugged and helped herself to some heroin. Three minutes later, she was shaking and saying, "And I was like, 'Oh, seriously?' and they were like, 'Yeah.' And I was like, 'Nooo.' And he was like-"

Alivia facepalmed and shrieked, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Whateva grinned maliciously, something she had learned from Belle. "Enjoying that fraternity dust?"

"You little-"

"Anyone v.E this time?" Sun asked, holding her head and cutting Alivia off.

Shadow, to a few people's surprise, snorted some coke and instantly began twitching and giggling. Then she went into full maniacal laughter and poured a glass of water over her head.

Elva quickly left. Whether she herself was high or not, a high Shadow disturbed her.

"It's always the quiet ones," Whateva recited, cackling.

"And now it's down to Echo and Whateva to finish this terrible idea," Voice announced.

"C'mon, let's get HIGH!" Echo shouted.

Fifteen minutes later, Whateva was stumbling about and talking to herself. "Hehehe, I'm high! So I can tease myself now? Hey Whateva? Yeah? Enjoying the Big H?" She cracked up.

"It's very obvious why she chose heroin." Lahetta realised.

Whateva fell on Will. "Hi, Clowny!" In her current state, Will looked clownish.

Sun sighed. "C'mon, get up. That's not a clown."

Whateva gasped, shock suddenly painted over her features. "Clowns are fucking evil!" She scrambled around, looking for something, but came up short. "Where's my gun?"

Lahetta expertly threw Whateva's gun in the air, and caught it. "I'd never leave you with a weapon in that state."

Whateva snarled, murder written in her gaze. "YOU MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A-" A long continuous bleep drowned out the rest of her speech for a while, like it did with Fire all those stories ago.  
>Alivia cowered, and demanded a fast-forward.<p>

* * *

><p>Echo, as per usual, opted for Armin's French toast. Also per usual, she was singing misheard lyrics to Japanese heavy metal. "Zetsubou Billy" by Maximum the Hormone, to be precise.<p>

Lahetta threw Whateva's gun back to the brunette. "There."

"I missed you, Ruby."

"You named your gun?"

"To what ends coulda spinach. I can't stand so many. Aga stands for honey Masda knuckle only," Echo sang, before launching into what sounded like a high pitched seizure. When it was done, she continued singing very loudly and off-key, "OUTSIDE THE BOX! SMELLS LIKE A BOMB! Adam left my son and grabbed my left, just for instance! I just won a valley of lilies so going all out, easel up, east L.A.! I just won a valley of lilies so going all out, easel up, east L.A.! Going all out, easel up, east L.A.!"

Lahetta looked at Will quizzically as she played a bass, that seemingly came out of nowhere.

Echo started singing in a higher pitch. "That cat he looked chica, and caught a no cup, oh banama and show us goin' avenue we." Then she launched into another seizure-sounding verse.

Whateva knew that her friend usually liked different music than she, but this was still freaking her out. Alivia, however, was grinning. Apparently, our known girly-girl had another side to her.

"OUTSIDE THE BOX! SMELLS LIKE A BOMB! Adam left my son and grabbed my left, just for instance! I just won a valley of lilies so going all out, easel up, east L.A.! I just won a valley of lilies so going all out, easel up, east L.A.! Going all out, easel up, east L.A.!" Echo stretched out the last part in a feral scream, then stopped to take a breath.

Alivia had begun to hum along, much to Dusty's disturbance. Will was playing bass again now. Fire had randomly come in with drums. Echo let out one more yell before continuing.

"Out check carpet in back, I'm gonna curse that sadist. Bending it up inside, that part that you could set it. Cold crack in me and you could sided to hope, cut the changes she could so, so the roof insider. Cut, so all the shinigami and they're kicking the fish!"

Sun suspected that a major part was coming on soon, and it appeared that Whateva did too; she was bug-eyed.

Will and Fire sang the next part in unison, gaining intensity. "So they don't sugar off the clobber all!"

"KIRA!" Echo yelled.

"WE ARE!" Fire and Will yelled back.

"KIRA!"

"MY NAME IS!"

"KIRA!"

"EVEN A!"

"KIRA!"

"DOINK!"

"KIRA!"

"WE ARE!"

"KIRA!"

"MY NAME IS!"

"KIRA!"

"EVEN A!"

"KIRA!"

"DOINK!"

"I knew it," Whateva muttered under her breath, her eyes now narrowed. At that moment, she resembled an Asian.

Echo started singing at a rapid pace. "We ain't got the soap in the sugar pie, sugar nugget, backstab movin' out the back door pay! We ain't got the soap in the sugar pie, sugar nugget, backstab movin' out the back door KILL US ALL! STUFF LIKE BLOND!"

Fire nailed the brief drum solo.

"I just won a valley of lilies so going all out, easel up, east L.A.! I just won a valley of lilies so going all out, easel up, east L.A.!" Echo screamed.

"Don't say she don't a lucky, I've gone a little sane! Don't say she don't affect me, I've gone a little sane!" Will screamed back.

Alivia had begun dancing around, jumping in tune.

"Going all up, in the man in the lab! Celeste!" Echo finished, and she, Fire, Will and Alivia began head-banging to the ending tune. This was followed by whoops and a lot of hi-fives.

While Alivia squealed, Whateva looked at them. Totally disturbed.

"Encore!" Lahetta, of all people, demanded.

Echo, still high off her ass, clapped her hands together and screamed, "HELL TO THE YEAH! Something new this time?"

"NEW, BABY!" Lahetta yelled back.

Shadow winced. All this yelling was messing with her head.

"As long as my feet aren't shot-"

"Aw, no fuzzy pie?" Echo pouted.

"Hell no! Fuzzy pie interrupted the funeral of Miss Kie!" Whateva hissed.

"...What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"Nothing." Whateva was suddenly acting very, very calm. Lahetta was freaked out.

Echo had taken her place up front, with Fire and Will on drums and bass. "Here's a little song called "Rokkinpo Goroshi", still by Maximum the Hormone, because they are the only Japanese metal band I listen to."

Fire began drumming as Will played the bass epically. "Please take the shop down," she sang. This was followed by more bass and drums, until...

"YOU'RE LOOKING POOR!" Echo sang at the top of her lungs.

"Looking poor!" Fire and Will sang backup.

"LOOKING POOR!"

"Just a kneecap!"

"LOOKING POOR!"

"Looking poor!"

"LOOKING POOR!"

"Two churches street!"

"Japanezians never cease to amaze me," Whateva commented, causing Lahetta to facepalm.

Echo sang in a rapid pace. "So call all your friends so down that's to beast, karaoke ice 'cause that's down to Ritz. Don't this shap, two this shap, to best this lightning shap! LOOKING POOR!"

"Looking poor!"

"LOOKING POOR!"

"Just a kneecap!"

"LOOKING POOR!"

"Looking poor!"

"LOOKING, FOR SURELY IT'S TIME!"

Will played a little more bass. Fire decided that it was her turn to sing. "T-T-T-T-T-T-T-Ray! Gut he was son! A we that you wishin' for! So laugh, we're brucking a rice duh! And you, a rate big tat!"

Will stepped in. "Kira calling me because he's stuck in up a meeting! Tomato make a repeat on Edgar, tatting his cat! He, such a digital he he, sitting by the, he such a real gat!"

Echo took over again. "Wait a minute, wait a minute, midnight boy! Gotta wait this midnight boy! Wed a legger, wed a legger, eight o'clock boy! A very young and tired boy!" There was a short music break, then Echo started up again. "Yes uh you were starting on night wear, and I said sliding on a road trip!"

"NIGHTMARE!" Fire and Will sang.

"But you watched Sally on the sad step, you didn't deny it only words say!"

"WORDS SAY!"

"Dad's not sorry you're you're you're a main this time, I said that's not fair! Somewhere sorry for your your your medicine, right's looking for fie-ie-ie!"

"WAY!" Fire and Will repeated the bass and drum line from the beginning.

"Never do that again." Lahetta groaned, having a headache.

Whateva smirked at her. "Who hates it now?"

"Fuck you."

"Please shut the shop down!" Echo, Fire and Will weren't done yet.

"YOU'RE LOOKING POOR!"

"Looking poor!"

"LOOKING POOR!"

"Just a kneecap!"

"LOOKING POOR!"

"Looking poor!"

"LOOKING!"

"Poor I've got to say!"

Alivia and Lahetta banged their heads on a wall, each for different reasons.

Echo kept going, running on adrenaline. "I've got to get two rats to 'fess up, please the book can rock complete ya! Let's worry! Kid's party! This falling falling cabinet! LOOKING POOR!"

"Looking poor!"

"LOOKING POOR!"

"Just a kneecap!"

"LOOKING POOR!"

"Looking poor!"

"LOOKING, FOR SURELY IT'S TIME!"

Whateva glared at the floor, as if it had done something to offend her.

It was Fire's turn again. "T-T-T-T-T-T-T-Ray! Gut he was son! A we that you wishin' for! So laugh, we're brucking a rice duh! And you, terrific tat!"

And Will's. "Kira calling me because he's stuck in up a meeting! Tomato make a repeat on Edgar, tatting his cat! He, such a digital he he, sitting by the, he such a real tat!"

And Echo's once again. "Wait a minute, wait a minute, midnight boy! Gotta wait this midnight boy! Wed a legger, wed a legger, eight o'clock boy! A very young and tired boy!"

Sun's mind trailed to Pedobear at that last line, the Usul shuddered.

"Yes uh you were starting on night wear, and I said sliding on a road trip!"

"NIGHTMARE!"

"But you watched Sally on the sad step, you didn't deny it only words say!"

"WORDS SAY!"  
>"Dad's not sorry you're you're you're a main this time, I said that's not fair! Somewhere sorry for your your your medicine, right's looking for fie-ie-ie!"<p>

"WAY!" Fire and Will started up the music line again, before singing the final, "Please shut the shop down!"

They played a few more notes, and then the song was over. Echo, Fire and Will gave each other more hi-fives and started laughing uncontrollably. Whateva had turned as pale as a Caucasian, Lahetta had bruises forming on her head, Sun couldn't get Pedobear out of her mind, and Alivia was grinning from ear to ear.

Luckily, hours later when no one was high anymore, things had calmed down. So calm, in fact, that everyone was playing Go Fish.

"Got any fours?" Whateva questioned.

"Go fish," Lahetta responded.

"Any kings?"

Will handed a card to Shadow.

"Twos?" Dusty asked.

"Go fi-" Sun started to say.

"Shit," Lahetta growled as she handed Dusty a two.

"Ones?" Whateva guessed.

Dusty, Sun, and Lahetta gave her their ones, causing the previously said brunette to cackle manically.

"Threes?" Sun retorted angrily.

"Shit," Whateva swore, giving her a three.

Fire wrinkled her brows in confusion. "Aren't ones called aces?"

Echo silently handed Fire an ace, but since Whateva apparently had a suit of ones, no one really understood what was going on anymore.

Whateva looked over at Fire. "Mine say... We may be using different decks... Fuck."

Echo threw her cards to the ground. "Well this was completely pointless."

Before anyone could say anything else, the ground split open in front of them, and a giant metal robot appeared. In the background, there was a chorus of people singing, "OH SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" The robot's face slid open to reveal...

"DOCTOR OCTOGONAPUS, BLAAAAGH!" Dr. Octogonapus fired a lazer of pure energy from his mouth. Then he jumped back into the hole he created in the ground which sealed itself up and disappeared.

"Who pulled the lever?!" Whateva hissed, paranoid.

"I blame the stupid situations that always seem to happen to us," Echo responded calmly.

"Echo! Look!" Fire said shakily, pointing. Will and Shadow lay dead on the floor, and Echo stared in shock.

"Son of a bitch!" Lahetta gasped, pointing at the corpses of Alivia and Sun.

Whateva's eyed them sadly. "Fuck."

"NOOOOOOO!" Echo screamed to the heavens and threw her arms into the sky.

"Why Dr. Octogonapus, why?" Fire shrieked.

"WHHHYYYYY?!" Whateva shouted at the stars above.

Suddenly stoic, Echo asked if they were done grieving yet.

"No. What are the five stages again?" Whateva asked.

Echo held up five fingers. "Shock," she said, pointing at her thumb.

"M'kay."

"Then denial."

"Not yet-" Whateva started.

"No, no! Of course they can't be dead. This must be a joke, right?" Lahetta interrupted, pacing like a mad woman, causing Whateva to facepalm.

Echo touched her middle finger. "Denial is followed by anger."

"THOSE STUPID BITCHES THINK THIS IS FUNNY! THEY'RE PROBABLY LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF!" Lahetta screamed in sudden fury.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! I KNOW THEY ARE, BUT I DON'T NEED YOUR BITCHING!" Whateva snapped back.

Dusty opened her mouth to say something, but opted not to.

"Then comes sadness," Echo touched her next finger.

Lahetta sulked, posture becoming hunched. "They're gone," she realized.

Whateva swore, sinking to the floor as she too realized this.

Echo poked her pinkie finger. "And then acceptance finally takes over."

Lahetta blinked. "Wait, they'll fucking come back, right?" she demanded. "Why the fuck are we mourning?"

"Exactly. Shadows reappear in the light," Echo stated knowingly.

"...And a truly strong will shall never leave you," Fire continued.

"Cliche," Whateva dismissed them.

"But true," Echo pointed out.

"Guess so," Lahetta said with a half-shrug.

Whateva was bored again. "Now what?"

"The Sun shall rise again... And your other pet was named Alivia," Echo thought.

"Fail," Fire commented.

"Seriously?" Whateva stared at her violent brunette friend.

"What the fuck would she say if I died?" Lahetta demanded.

Whateva cupped her chin in thought. "Well, she fucked up Alivia," she mused.

Lahetta shrugged. "Anyone wanna go someplace?"

Echo's eyes lit up. "I want to go to Kiko Lake, my version... But I'm not allowed to until I get there in JASA." Her face fell. "How about we go to an amusement park? Rides, sugar, people to pie in the face..."

"M'kay," Lahetta agreed, snapping her fingers.

As the Lahetta Magic did its work, all five of them felt their bodies being compressed and spun around at dizzying speeds. But the effect only lasted a few seconds, and soon they were standing in front of a place that looked strangely like a three-year-old's sugar-fueled wish.

"What type of fucked up amusement park is this?" Echo demanded.

"I don't know! I felt random!" Lahetta said defensively.

"So you take us to Dora the Explorer Land? Out of _all_ the places to go?" Fire asked incredulously.

"Fuck you!" Lahetta spat. "Fucking sue me, then!"

At that moment, the park's theme song came on.

"Shit!" Whateva cursed.

"Escuchame!" Echo had started talking in Spanish. "Dora es una grande chica gorda inutil porque a ella utilizó su mapa y mochilla para hacer todo! MATALA!" With that, she pulled her rifle from over her shoulder.

Whateva saw something in her peripheral vision. "Crap! Incoming moron!" she warned the others.

True to her word, a guy in a Boots costume sauntered up to them. "Hi, everybody!"

Lahetta felt a spark of violence surge through her, and she acted upon it. "I haven't beat up anybody yet, congratulations on being the first." And with that she began attacking the park employee.

Echo smiled as she polished her rifle. "No prueban esa en casa, ninos," she warned the kids standing around them before hitting the guy across the face with her rifle.

Cloud suddenly appeared. "That's not nice to randomly beat up somebody who works for little kids!" she shouted.

"Who cares?" Lahetta, who was currently holding the guy in a nelson, obviously didn't.

"He only makes $20 a day, cut him some slack!" Cloud responded, panicking.

"Leave, Illusen," Whateva told her.

"I'm not-" Cloud started to say, but then she sighed harshly and said, "Oh, you'll regret this horrible act!" She disappeared just as suddenly as she appeared earlier.

Echo frowned. "Creo que no puedo terminar de hablar en español..."

"At least I can understand you." Fire noted.

The guy in a Boots costume tried to escape, but Echo noticed this. But then she noticed another costumed guy making his way toward them. "Allí esta Swiper!" she pointed at him.

A guy in a Swiper the Fox costume had an "Oh shit" moment and tried to get away from the deranged violent girls. Lahetta started laughing maniacally while Whateva grinned maliciously. "Swiper, no swiping, Swiper, no swiping, Swiper, no-"

"Swiping..." the guy finished lamely.

Echo held up her rifle, obviously inviting a pun. Fire, knowing her owner wouldn't stop insisting until someone made the pun (she was unable to, thanks to her sudden language change), decided to make life easier for everyone and said, "No Echo, _swiping_, not _sniping_."

Echo grinned in self-satisfaction as she lowered her rifle.

Lahetta facepalmed at those two.

That's when Whateva noticed some chick in a Dora costume. "Oh, d-" she attempted to warn the others.

The woman, staying in character, exclaimed happily, "You did it, you stopped Swiper!" She clapped her hands and random buttons with pictures of various fake locations appeared above her head.

"What in the name of-" Whateva started.

"Just shut up." Lahetta wasn't having any of this.

Echo raised her rifle with a questioning look.

Lahetta nodded in assent. "Do it."

"_Now,_" Whateva ordered.

Echo's face contorted in a horrible smile as she shot the Dora impersonator in the leg.

"SON OF A FUCKER AND A BITCH!" she screamed.

The nearby children repeated what she said. "Son of a fucker and a bitch..."

"What's a fucker, mommy?" one kid asked, his eyes wide with painful innocence.

The deranged violent girls simply looked on in amusement. Everyone seemed to have forgotten that they were there and heavily armed.

The man who ran the park snuck up behind the Dora lady, and handcuffed her. "Ma'am, you are arrested for misuse of language in front of children."

"Is that a legit reason?" Fire knew the answer already, but Echo decided to speak up again.

"No, pero me gustaría veer Dora en prision!"

Lahetta silently agreed with that. "Fuck off with the Spanish," she said aloud.

"No quiero dejar, Lahetta," Echo lied. In truth, she just couldn't get herself to stop talking in Spanish.

"M'kay," Lahetta dismissed.

Whateva, having trouble understanding Echo, repeated Fire's question. "Is that really a legit reason?"

"I guess it isn't, but I don't think anyone here is complaining," Fire commented.

"I'LL FUCK UP YOU ALL!" the Dora lady screamed in pain and in rage.

"Second offense," Whateva said, pointing at her.

"YOU FUCK FUCK FUCKETY FUCKERS-"

"Time to bring out the mace," a security guard stated as he pepper-sprayed her.

Lahetta was grinning from ear to ear.

"This amuses me," Whateva stated.

"A mi tambien," Echo agreed in Spanish, a semi-sadistic smile on her face.

"Same here," Fire said.

The Dora lady began to illegally swear, causing a young child to ask, "Mommy, what does that mean?" Echo, for whatever reason, smiled absently at that.

Fire, however, noticed that the security guards had their attention switched from Dora to Echo, who was still holding her rifle in plain view. Not to mention the bloody wound in the Dora lady's leg was a dead giveaway. "We should go," she hissed urgently.

Lahetta noticed them as well, and slowly hid her gun. "Yeah," she agreed. Quickly, the five of them ran for it.

* * *

><p>"Et maintenant? Merde, je parle en français!"<p>

"I think she's having a language problem," Fire voiced what everybody was thinking. Today just wasn't Echo's day.

"What did she say?" Lahetta asked.

Whateva rolled her eyes, even though the question wasn't directed to her in particular. "How the hell should I know? First Spanish, now French. What's next?"

Fire answered Lahetta's question. "She said that now she's talking in French."

"Feu sait comment parler en français," Echo explained. "Et Ombre aussi. Seulement Volonté ne sait pas d'autres langues."

"'Feu' is Fire, 'Ombre' is Shadow, and 'Volonté' is Will," Fire explained.

"I kind of understood that," Whateva admitted, slightly disturbed.

"Felicitations," Echo congratulated her.

"That means 'congratulations'," Fire explained, noticing Dusty's blank look.

In celebration, Whateva shot confetti out of a gun. Where she got it from, no one knew. And know one will ever know. Apparently, that didn't stop Lahetta from wondering.

"Anyways, now what?" Whateva questioned.

Echo's eyes lit up as she got an idea. "How about we get in a fast car, drive down a highway and play "Bad habit" by the Offspring at full blast while shooting things on the sides of the road?"

Apparently, she had reverted to English as well.

"Hell yes!" Whateva agreed enthusiastically. "How do you even think of these things?"

"Fuck knows," Lahetta said, before she had used her magic to poof up a fast convertible. "I'm driving!" she called, as she hopped in.

"You don't have a license," Dusty remembered.

"Fuck the license. C'mon!"

Echo, suddenly twenty-five years of age, vaulted into the vehicle, calling shotgun. As a belated reply to Whateva, she said, "And I have no idea where these things come from, but who can pass up a speeding car with guns and awesome music? NOBODY, THAT'S WHO!"

The rest of our protagonists jumped into the car as well. Lahetta sped off, easily surpassing 90 miles per hour.

"Holy shit!" Whateva yelled, voice muffled by the roaring winds around their heads. Echo just grinned and handed everyone a pair of sunglasses. Once everyone had the appropriate eyewear for the occasion, the song started up. Everyone nodded their heads slowly to the bass cords and guitar riffs at the beginning.

"Hey, man. You know, I'm really okay," Lahetta began, her voice sounding strangely pretty.

"The gun in my hand will tell you the same," Fire continued, and passed out guns to everybody.

"But when I'm in my car, don't give me no crap," Dusty and Echo sang in unison, "'cause the slightest thing and I just might snap-"

"OH!" Whateva yelled while shooting the ground outside the car. The music grew louder and faster, and the girls in the car started head-banging to the more intense melody.

"When I go driving, I stay in my lane!" Whateva picked up on the lyrics. Just like the sudden shift in music, the singing became and louder more raw. It was more like yelling than singing.

"But getting cut off, it makes me insane," Lahetta's voice was the lowest of all of them, but it was still loud.

"I open the glove box, reach inside, gonna wreck this fuckers ride!" Echo and Fire sang/yelled in unison.

"Guess I got a bad habit!" Dusty sang, voice reaching an impressive pitch at the last syllable.

"Yeah! Yeah!" the others chorused.

"Of blowin' away!" Echo continued, shooting at the ground herself.

"Yeah! Yeah!"

"I got a bad habit!" Fire sang.

"Yeah! Yeah!"

"And it ain't goin' away!" Whateva sang, her voice peaking.

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah, yeah! Yeah! Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah, ooooooooooooh!" Everybody yelled, as they headbanged and shot the ground.

"They say the road's a dangerous place!" Dusty sang, smirking and narrowing her eyes in silent enjoyment at all the destruction the group was causing.

"If you flip me off, I'll get in your face!" Lahetta almost spat venomously, swerving the car from side to side.

Regardless, Fire and Whateva leaned over the sides of the car on either side, singing, "You drive on my ass, your foot's on the gas and your next breath is your last!"

"I guess I got a bad habit!" Echo shot at the ground.

"Of blowing away!" Dusty screamed.

"Yeah! Yeah!"

"I got a bad habit!" Lahetta.

"Yeah! Yeah!"

"And it ain't goin' away!" Fire.

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah, yeah! Yeah! Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah, oooooooooooooh!" And with that the music stopped completely, though the song didn't.

"Drivers are rude." From Whateva, that sounded more like a statement than lyrics.

"Such attitudes." Dusty.

"But when I show my piece, complaints cease!" Lahetta hollered with a demonic grin.

"Something's odd," came from Echo who was obviously looking forward to the part coming after Fire's bit.

True enough, after Fire's, "I feel like I'm God," was over...

"You stupid," Echo and Fire started. "Dumbshit," Whateva joined in, followed by, "Goddamn," in which Lahetta made herself heard; and finally, Dusty joined in so that everyone in the car screamed, "MOTHERFUCKER!" at the same time. And the music started up again.

"I open the glove box, reach inside, gonna wreck this fucker's ride! I guess I got a bad habit! Of blowin' away! Yeah! Yeah! I got a bad habit! Yeah! Yeah! And it ain't goin' away! Yeah! Yeah! Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah, yeah! Yeah! Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah, yeah! Yeah! Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah, yeah! Yeah! Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah, yeah! Yeah! Oooooooooooooh!" Everybody screamed loudly, as they rocked out. They didn't even stop to breathe.

As the song faded out, they took several deep, gasping breaths. "FUCKING EPIC," Whateva finally managed to say.

"I know, right?" Echo's face was flushed. She undid her seatbelt and stood up, letting the wind force her hair back and slam against her upper body. "WOOHOO!" she yelled, completely exhilarated.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Lahetta warned her.

"HOLY FUCK! I WOULDN'T DO _THAT!_" Whateva screamed.

"Wha- SON OF A BI-!"

Lahetta drove them all off a cliff. The car exploded upon impact with the ground, killing everyone inside.

"Relax, we'll just come back in the next chapter," Echo's soul told all the other souls.

"Luckily, Courtney isn't h-" Whateva was interrupted.

Alvia's phone rang. Curious at how it still worked, the Wocky answered it. "Hello?"

"FOURTH WALL!" a girl screamed from the other end, before hanging up.


	2. Supermarket, Superpowers and Supervator

Supermarket, Superpowers and Supervator

Shadow: *_walks in a grocery store looking like a cyborg_*  
>Whateva: *<em>fangirl moment<em>* OMG, IT'S CYBORG! WHERE'S RAVEN? YOU 2 ARE MEANT TO BE! :D  
>Lahetta: *<em>facepalm<em>* Why... WHYYYYY?  
>Everyone: *<em>stares<em>*  
>Whateva: She's fine. She just ships RavenxBB.<br>Everyone: *_goes back to whatever they were doing_*  
>Lahetta: *<em>stops<em>* Selfish bastards.  
>Shadow: *<em>slams a robotic fist into the wall<em>*  
>Echo: ...When did THIS happen?<br>Will: About the same time as that happened. *_points at Fire*_  
>Fire: *<em>eight feet tall<em>* Hi guys!  
>Whateva: Uh...<br>Will: And I'm pretty sure something's happening to Sun and Dusty...  
>Lahetta: Shit.<br>Echo: Where are Sun and Dusty, anyway?  
>Will: In the watermelon aisle.<br>Fire: *_crouches down_* How do you know?  
>Will: ...I don't know how I know that I know it, I just know that I know it.<br>Whateva: This is just fucking odd.  
><em>In the watermelon aisle...<em>  
>Sun: *<em>has metal claws, skewers a watermelon<em>* Want some?  
>Dusty: *<em>breathes on the watermelon<em>*  
>Watermelon: <em>*turns to ice<em>*  
>Dusty: Nope. *<em>flicks it with her finger and the watermelon shatters<em>*  
>Whateva: *<em>fangirl moment<em>*  
>Lahetta: Wha-<br>Whateva: Telling you would give away my new addiction off of Brynnso.  
>Lahetta: What?<br>Whateva: What?  
>Lahetta: What?<br>Whateva: What?  
>Lahetta: *<em>sigh<em>* Pass me some watermelon?  
>Shadow: *<em>picks up a watermelon with her robotic arm and chucks it at the wall*<em>  
>Watermelon: *<em>breaks<em>*  
>Shadow: Pre-cut. *<em>leaves<em>*  
>Echo: ...Shadow's a bit OOC now that she's part cyborg...<br>Lahetta: _*picks up watermelon, eats_* Tastes like... metal.  
>Echo: Metal tastes like blood.<br>Fire: *_still crouching down_* True.  
>Will: Very true.<br>Lahetta: *_smiles_* Likin' it already.  
>Will: Just as long as we don't turn into vampires. Well... Maybe the olden times awesome vampires instead of the jokes created by Twilight.<br>Echo: Either way we can't go into the sunlight. Or eat pie.  
>Shadow: <em>*knocks down some shelves a few aisles away<em>*  
>Fire: I think she's having a malfunction...<br>Whateva: *_panics_* Where's her reboot button?  
>Lahetta: *<em>grabs a shovel, hits Shadow over the head<em>*  
>Echo: No! Don't do a Christophe!<br>Shadow: *_smashes everything in blind rage and malfunctioning programming_*  
>Fire: *<em>picks her up<em>*  
>Shadow: *<em>struggling<em>*  
>Will: She has a reboot button on her neck!<br>Fire: *_finds it and presses it_* How do you _know_ these things?  
>Will: I already said I don't know.<br>Shadow: Wha- *_sees all the destruction she caused_* What happened here?  
>Lahetta: You went psycho bitch and caused a lot of shit.<br>Shadow: I see... *_goes into a surprised silence, then snaps out of it_* Why is Fire a giant and why does Sun have blades coming out of her fingers?  
>Echo: You forgot Dusty's ice breath.<br>Shadow: o.0 What's going on here?  
>Whateva: *<em>facepalm<em>*  
>Echo: Will seems to know most things so...<br>Will: I actually have no why these things are happening. But I know that Alivia is going to start flying soon.  
>Alivia: Do I at least get wings?<br>Will: Wait for it...  
>Alivia: *<em>waiting<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>impatient<em>* NOTHING'S HAPPENING!  
>Will: ...NOW!<br>Alivia: _*sprouts white angel wings_*  
>Lahetta: Woah.<br>Whateva: *_fangirl moment for unknown reasons_*  
>Alivia: *<em>flies up into air, hits ceiling<em>*  
>Echo: Fail.<br>Shadow: *_getting used to her robotic self_*  
>Fire: *<em>grows another 7 feet and catches Alivia as she falls and sets her on the ground<em>*  
>Alivia: Thanks, Fire.<br>Lahetta: Damn. This is fucking epic.  
>Will: Just wait until you find out you have shapeshifting powers.<br>Whateva: *_shakes head, mutters_* Lucky bitch.  
>Lahetta: You just told me.<br>Will: *_dryly_* No fucking duh.  
>Echo: It was her way of letting you know.<br>Lahetta: *_glare, suddenly grins_* I'll try it out soon then. *_thinks_*  
>Will: And Echo and Whateva have the powers of invisibility and controlling gravity. I'm just not sure who has what...<br>Lahetta: *_thinking_* What should I shapeshift into?  
>Echo: It's your decision. *<em>disappears<em>*  
>Whateva: That answers that. *<em>uses power to make many people fall<em>*  
>Lahetta: *<em>shapeshifts into Dr. Phil, walks over to people, annoys the hell outta them<em>*  
>Will: And I have no powers. I just defy logic. So I guess that's a power...<br>Echo: *_invisible_* An epic power. *_picks up a can of paint and goes over to a group of teenagers to pour it on them_*  
>Whateva: *<em>just knocks the can over with power<em>* Awesome.  
>Lahetta: *<em>still shapeshifted as Dr. Phil, talking to a random person<em>* Now, why are you so angry?  
>Random Person: I ATE A FOUR YEAR OLD!<br>Fire: I will pretend that I never heard that. *_starts reading a book_* The print is too small!  
>Lahetta: *<em>walks away slowly, shapeshifts back to normal<em>* ... A fucking four year old?  
>Random Person: *<em>nods vigorously<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>invisible, frying pan whacks him<em>*  
>Lahetta: Thank you. *<em>shapeshifts into Starfire, flies in air scaring random people<em>*  
>Whateva: *<em>makes ceiling fall in<em>* Life is sweet.  
>Lahetta: *<em>gets toppled by ceiling<em>*  
>Whateva: *<em>realization<em>* HOLY SHIT, I JUST KILLED US ALL! *_runs out_*  
>Everybody: *<em>runs out<em>*  
><em>13 minutes later...<em>  
>Whateva: *<em>catching breath<em>* Okay, at least we're alive.  
>Lahetta: *<em>slowly walking from behind her, frying pan whacks<em>* You forgot me, you know.  
>Echo: Hey guys, watch this! *<em>goes invisible, puts a sheet over herself and walks over to some kids<em>* Wooooooo!  
>Kid: Lame. *<em>pulls the sheet off<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>invisible<em>* Boo.  
>Kids: *<em>scream and run away<em>*  
>Whateva and Lahetta: *<em>laughing their asses off*<em>  
>Cloud: *<em>poofs in<em>* That wasn't very nice!  
>Lahetta: Screw you.<br>Cloud: *_discouraged, poofs out_*  
>Whateva: *<em>makes all the kids fall<em>* Take that, little bastards.  
>Shadow: Wait wait wait... why were we here in the first place?<br>Fire: I think we wanted to buy a pie.  
>Echo: That's right! *<em>goes in the ruins of the supermarket and comes back out with a pie<em>*  
>Will: And this is why we never buy food at supermarkets.<br>Whateva: We should just stick to Narrator Powers, Lahetta Magic, and the occasional transition.  
>Fire: This is a Neopets story, why hasn't anything Neopets-related happened?<br>_Random Event: We are now eligible to use "Supermarket Destroyers" as an avatar on the Neoboards!_  
>Will: That avatar doesn't exist on the real site. Just letting the crazy theorists know.<br>Whateva: *_uses avatar_* Lol, it shows people running.  
>Echo: *<em>also uses it<em>* Now people know what I do during my spare time.  
>Whateva: I rather not picture that. *<em>randomly walks into a building<em>* Hey, c'mon guys.  
>Lahetta: Wha-<br>Whateva: I want to sabotage people. *_points to an elevator_* Somebody pretend to be an elevator attendant, and I'll press all the buttons while they're not looking. Who's in?  
>Echo: Elevators don't normally have attendants.<br>Shadow: I can pretend to be a robot attendant.  
>Will: This will turn out badly.<br>Lahetta: But amusing.  
>Will: But badly. Trust me on this one.<br>Shadow: *_goes to the elevator_*  
>Whateva: *<em>evil grin, slowly sneaks over to elevator*<em>  
>Lahetta: *<em>passes popcorn around to the people who aren't participating<em>*  
><em>A few minutes later...<em>  
>Shadow: No one's here.<br>Will: We destroyed the building next to us, so why would anyone go in this one?  
>Shadow: ...Damn.<br>Lahetta: *_idea_* Be right back. *_walks outside*_

_5 seconds later..._  
>People: *<em>run in<em>* Where's the free money?  
>Lahetta: *<em>whistles innocently<em>* On the 7th floor.  
>People: *<em>run for the elevator<em>*  
>Whateva: Greedy, greedy people.<br>Shadow: Yes, which floor would you all like to go to?  
>People: 7th.<br>Lahetta: *_evil grin_*  
>Whateva: *<em>recording it<em>*  
>Shadow: *<em>presses the 7 button, then points<em>* LOOK! SOMETHING DISTRACTING!  
>People: *<em>look the other way<em>*  
>Lahetta: *<em>sigh<em>* Oh wow.  
>Whateva: Fucking idiots.<br>Lahetta: *_gestures to elevator_*  
>Whateva: Oh, right. *<em>sneaks over, pushes all the buttons, sneaks away<em>*  
>Shadow: We're arriving at the second floor now.<br>People: *_impatient_*  
>Shadow: And here's the third...<br>Some Guy: *_sees all the buttons lit up_* Hey, what gives?  
>Shadow: 4th floor-<br>Elevator: ELEVATOR POWERS! *_transforms into Supervator and flies out of the building_*  
>Will: Told you. End badly.<br>Whateva: *_jaw drop_*  
>Lahetta: *<em>grin<em>*  
>Shadow: *<em>stuck in the Supervator<em>* HOLY- *_crashes into the wall_*  
>People in Supervator: *<em>screaming<em>*  
>Whateva: Found the self destruct button! *<em>pushes<em>*  
>Lahetta: ...What the hell is <em>wrong<em> with you?  
>Whateva: Wha- Oh shit.<br>People in Supervator: *_panic_*  
>Shadow: *<em>uses robotic arm to force open the Supervator doors<em>* JUMP! WHATEVA, LOWER US DOWN SLOWLY!  
>People: *<em>jump<em>*  
>Whateva: How?<br>Lahetta: *_facepalm_*  
>Shadow: *<em>falling<em>* YOUR GRAVITY POWERS, YOU IDIOT!  
>Whateva: I really should let you die now. Curse my good heart. *<em>lowers people to ground<em>*  
>Everyone: *<em>lands safely<em>*  
>Supervator: *<em>explodes<em>*  
><em>GAME OVER. YOU WIN!<em>  
>Some Kid Somewhere: *<em>puts down a controller<em>* Meh. *_eats cornchips_*  
><em>Transition...<em>  
>Lahetta: What the hell?<br>Whateva: ...  
>Echo: *<em>sigh<em>* Looks like the new video game was a fail.  
>Everybody: *<em>silence<em>*  
>Shadow: ...Why was I a robot?<br>Will: Just for the hell of it.  
>Lahetta: I miss my powers.<br>Whateva: Same.  
>Echo: Being invisible kicked ass.<br>Fire: I don't know, I prefer not being a giant. *_sits down with book_*  
>Lahetta: C'mon, it was epic.<br>Fire: Yeah, it was, but now I can actually pick up things without crushing them.  
>Whateva: But destroying everything in sight makes life better!<br>Lahetta: ...What?  
>Whateva: I can be crazy when I wanna. *<em>points at title<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>also looks at title<em>* Now I just want to make things even weirder... But how?  
>Whateva: YouTube videos of random TV Shows and Movies?<br>Echo: ...Hey Apple?  
>Apple: Oh for the love of-<br>Echo: Knife! *_knifes Apple_*  
>Lahetta: Suddenly craving an apple.<br>Whateva: I think we could go crazier than that. Maybe.  
>Echo: I would make everyone dance the Macarena, but that idea is very overused.<br>Lahetta: Yep.  
>Will: We haven't randomly burst into song for once. But maybe we will.<br>Whateva: We will, Will.  
>Lahetta: *<em>facepalm<em>*  
>Whateva: At least it's not another Fire pun.<br>Echo: I have never made a Shadow pun before.  
>Shadow: Thank Fyora.<br>Lahetta: Just wait. It'll happen someday.  
>Shadow: Lahetta is the one who always talks. Why is that?<br>Whateva: I'm too busy thinking of crack ideas.  
>Sun: *<em>not really paying attention<em>* Mmm hmm.  
>Whateva: Alivia is too busy being a pussy.<br>Alivia: *_looks up_* Am not!  
>Whateva: Dusty is too busy obsessing over Jacques.<br>Dusty: *_daydreaming_*  
>Whateva: Kelly is... well, almost the same thing as Dusty. Except replace Jacques with Mello.<br>Kelly: *_hanging up Mello posters everywhere_*  
>Whateva: Lilly is prude.<br>Lilly: *_huffs_* No.  
>Whateva: Cute is... being annoying.<br>Cute: *_texting_*  
>Whateva: Cloud is like, Illusen Jr.<br>Cloud: *_smiling at everybody_*  
>Whateva: And I have yet to reveal the pets from my other 2 accounts.<br>Lahetta: You made ANOTHER account?  
>Whateva: Sue me. I was bored.<br>Echo: I also have another account. One that shall remain nameless.  
>Will: Before you ask why, it's because of identity paranoia.<br>Whateva: I say identity theft. Sounds more epic.  
>Lahetta: Oh c'mon, you're taking away my lines?<br>Whateva: There isn't a script.  
>Lahetta: Still.<br>Fire: *_looks up from book_* Actually, identity theft is when someone pretends to be you in order to use your money, or your influence, or some other thing like that. Identity paranoia is when you are paranoid about people finding out who you are. *_resumes reading_*  
>Whateva: I'm aware.<br>Lahetta: Damn it. My line-  
>Whateva: No script-<br>Lahetta: FUCK YOU!  
>Whateva: Oh yea. I updated Lahetta, Dusty, Sun, Alivia, Lily, Cloud, Cute, Kelly and "Whateva"'s outfits on my Polyvore. Check it out.<br>Lahetta: *_suddenly takes notice of the change, OOC moment_* Oh, my hair is pretty! :D  
>Echo: And I look... wait for it... EXACTLY THE SAME! :D<br>Shadow: And so do we... kinda.  
>Will: *<em>reties ponytail<em>*  
>Whateva: Screw you all.<br>Dusty: *_looks in hand mirror, slightly worried_* My hair is very red.  
>Lahetta: *<em>OOC<em>* My hair is pretty blonde. :D  
>Whateva: I'm getting a weird Mean Girls vibe from us right now. I haven't even seen that movie.<br>Echo: I've seen it. It's funny.  
>Sun: *<em>moves hair out of her face<em>* Why is my hair ginger?  
>Alivia: Mine is chestnut. :D<br>Lahetta: All this "girl talk" is boring me.  
>Dusty: *<em>double take<em>* But you're blonde...  
>Lahetta: Yep. Fuck all those stereotypes.<br>Echo: What do you have against blondes, Dusty?  
>Dusty: N-nothing.<br>Echo: Good.

Will: We're going to burst into song now, aren't we?  
>Shadow: *<em>plays the Ghostbusters theme song<em>*  
>Whateva: *<em>grin<em>*  
>Kelly: *<em>poofs in<em>* Hi!  
>Lahetta: *<em>jaw drop<em>* Your h-hair...  
>Kelly: *<em>squeals<em>* I know! :D  
>Lahetta: *<em>face in hands<em>* Oh God...  
>Sun: Hello, guys? Ghostbusters theme song?<br>Shadow: (singing) If there's something strange, in your neighborhood. Who you gonna call?  
>Everyone: (singing) GHOSTBUSTERS!<br>Kelly: (singing) If it's somethin' weird and it won't look good, who you gonna call?  
>Everyone: (singing) GHOSTBUSTERS!<br>Alivia: (singing) I ain't afraid a no ghost, I ain't afraid a no ghost. If you're seein' things runnin' through your head, who can you call?  
>Everyone: (singing) GHOSTBUSTERS!<br>Fire: (singing) An invisible man, sleepin' in your bed. *_stops_* Whoa, creeper. *_sings again_* Oh, who you gonna call?  
>Everyone: (singing) GHOSTBUSTERS!<br>Cute: *_poofs in, singing_* I ain't afraid a no ghost, I ain't afraid a no ghost. Who you gonna call?  
>Everybody: (singing) GHOSTBUSTERS!<br>Cute: (singing) If you're all alone, pick up the phone. And call-  
>Everybody: (singing) GHOSTBUSTERS!<br>Will: (singing) I ain't afraid of no ghost. I hear it likes the girls.  
>Fire: Again, creeper.<br>Echo: (singing) I ain't afraid of no ghost. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.  
>Shadow: (singing) Who you gonna call?<br>Everyone: (singing) GHOSTBUSTERS!  
>Lahetta: (singing) Mm... if you've had a dose of a freaky ghost baby, you better call ghostbusters. Bustin' makes me feel good, I ain't afraid a no ghosts.<br>Fire: (singing) I ain't afraid of no ghost. Don't get caught alone, oh no.  
>Everyone: (singing) GHOSTBUSTERS!<br>Whateva: (singing)When he comes through your door, unless you've just got some more, I think you better call ghostbusters. Ooh... who you gonna call?  
>Everyone: (singing) GHOSTBUSTERS!<br>Echo: (singing) Who you gonna call?  
>Everyone: (singing) GHOSTBUSTERS!<br>Will: (singing) Don't you better call?  
>Everyone: (singing) GHOSTBUSTERS!<br>Dusty: (singing) Who you gonna call?  
>Everyone: (singing) GHOSTBUSTERS!<br>Sun: (singing) Who you gonna call?  
>Everyone: (singing) GHOSTBUSTERS!<br>Alivia: (singing) Louder!  
>Everyone: (screaming) GHOSTBUSTERS!<br>Lahetta: (singing) Who you gonna call-  
>Everyone: (singing) GHOSTBUSTERS!<br>Shadow: (singing) Who you gonna call?  
>Everyone: (singing) GHOSTBUSTERS!<br>_Song fades..._  
>Echo: WOOHOO! Now what?<br>Whateva: We could go somewhere absolutely random?  
>Shadow: We did that last time.<br>Towlie: We can get high!  
>Fire: We did that last time, too.<br>Towlie: ...We can get drunk.  
>Will: No.<br>Whateva: HELL NO! I FUCKING HATE ALCOHOL! IT'S JUST WRONG!  
>Lahetta: Aw man.<br>Whateva: *_eyebrow raise_* Blonde that wanted to be drunk? Hmm...  
>Lahetta: Cut it out with the stereotypes.<br>Echo: *_narrows eyes_* Really, what do people have against blonds?  
>Whateva: I don't know, it's like hate at first sight.<br>Lahetta: Like I first hated lettuce, raisins, and chocolate at first sight.  
>Echo: I've always found it to be like racism, except for hair colour. I used to be blonde.<br>Whateva: Really? I've been the same everything my entire life. Fuck.  
>Lahetta: I used to be brunette.<br>Kelly: My hair was never revealed until a while ago.  
>Whateva: When the hell did you get here?<br>Echo: *_tugs at hair_* It changed without me doing anything to it, so I just went with it.  
>Will: Kelly arrived when we sang Ghostbusters.<br>Whateva: Oh yeah.  
>Fire: *<em>picks up book again<em>* Well, this conversation just came to a screeching stop.  
>Kelly: *<em>grin<em>*  
>Lahetta: Well our options are: Get drunk, go to a random place, or go on a killing spree.<br>Echo: *_covers Lahetta's mouth_* You'll summon BB if you say those words again!  
>Lahetta: *<em>removes her hand, grin<em>* Killing spree. Blood. Killing spree. Blood. Killing spree.  
>Whateva: Shiiiiit.<br>BB: *_poofs in_* WHERE? Oh, it's you again. *_creepy grin_*  
>Echo: Hey B.<br>Lahetta: Hey BB. *_waves_*  
>Whateva: *<em>nervous<em>* Sorry about the false alarm... it was all Lahetta's fault-  
>Lahetta: <strong>Nice to know that you're oh so faithful.<strong>  
>BB: Oh, don't tell me that I scare you. *<em>laughs<em>*  
>Will: Because no story is complete without a murderer.<br>Lahetta: What about Disney's Snow Whi- Oh nevermind, there was the witch.  
>Whateva: *<em>fear changes to anger, eyes flash<em>* Fuck you.  
>BB: *<em>unbothered<em>* It's nothing new, many people are afraid of me. *_looks above everyone's heads, grins_*  
>Fire: *<em>looks up from book<em>* Oh. The killer's back. *_goes back to reading_*  
>Lahetta: *<em>bitter<em>* Oh, wonder who's gonna die now. Not really.  
>Whateva: If it's me, I'm so coming back and killing the first person I see.<br>BB: Now, who said anything about anyone dying soon?  
>Lahetta: Go screw yourself, bastard.<br>Kelly: *_grins_* This is entertaining.  
>BB: *<em>still unbothered<em>* It's funny how people always assume that they're going to die. *_notices Kelly_* I see you know the famous Mello.  
>Kelly: Of course I do! :D<br>Fire: *_looks up again_* Mello fangirl talking to murderer. Okay. *_goes back to reading_*  
>Shadow: Uh...<br>Kelly: *_goes into a rant about Mello_*  
>Whateva: *<em>whacks her<em>*  
>Will: Thank you for that, Whateva. The last thing we need is a Mello rant.<br>Shadow: What about a pro-Roxton rant?  
>Will: ...The second-to-last thing.<br>Whateva: Pro-Roxton? Disturbing thoughts.  
>Kelly: *<em>ranting again<em>*  
>Lahetta: *<em>baseball bat whacks<em>*  
>Echo: Ahem. *<em>holds up frying pan<em>* Use this instead.  
>Lahetta: Thank you. *<em>frying pan whacks<em>*  
>Kelly: ...Ouchie.<br>Echo: Frying pans are always a good thing to have, especially in zombie attacks. We know this from experience.  
>Whateva: *<em>flashback, shudders<em>* Why remind me? Why?  
>Echo: Because Decoy Echo died.<br>Whateva: But we got Esteban.  
>Kelly: *<em>shifty eyes<em>* Yeah, about that...  
>Whateva: What the hell did you do?<br>Will: It has something to do with a building exploding and Mello.  
>Kelly: *<em>gapes<em>* Do you know EVERYTHING?  
>Will: No, I just defy logic. *<em>poofs into smoke<em>*  
>Echo: ...WHAT THE-<br>_One swear-filled exclamation of surprise later..._  
>Esteban: *<em>runs in, poofs into smoke also<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>beyond words<em>*  
>Fire: *<em>looks up from book again<em>* This is some crazy crackshit. *_goes back to book_*  
>Shadow: Crackshit... I'm guessing the combination of crack and brainshit.<br>Whateva: **Oh course not, why would it be?**  
>Shadow: This is the first time any of us have used this word.<br>Echo: Actually-  
>Shadow: The first time us PETS have used this word.<br>Whateva: Yep.  
>Echo: I think your pets have gone mute again...<br>Alivia, Dusty, Sun, Lahetta, Kelly, Cute, Lily, and Cloud: *_fighting for no apparent reason_*  
>Whateva: *<em>gapes<em>* FUCKING SWEET! *_joins in_*  
>Echo: *<em>shrugs, also joins in<em>*  
>Shadow: *<em>watches<em>*  
>Fire: *<em>still reading<em>*

Lahetta: *_shoves Sun onto a wall hard*_  
>Sun: *<em>nose bleed<em>*  
>Lahetta: *<em>holds her up, repeatedly punches face*<em>  
>Sun: *<em>groans<em>* Stop...  
>Lahetta: *<em>throws on ground<em>* Not that easy, little sister.  
>Sun: *<em>catching breath<em>*  
>Lahetta: *<em>straddles, chokes her<em>*  
>Sun: *<em>tries pull her off<em>*  
>Lahetta: *<em>lets go, kicks chest, walks out door<em>*  
>Whateva: Holy crap. *<em>recording<em>*  
>BB: *<em>watches with a grin<em>*  
>Whateva: *<em>gives camera to Cute, walks over to Dusty<em>*  
>Dusty: *<em>turns around, punches<em>*  
>Whateva: *<em>dodges, shoves from her back<em>*  
>Dusty: *<em>crashes through a window<em>*  
>Whateva: *<em>slowly walks ove<em>r*  
>Dusty: *<em>punches repeatedly<em>*  
>Whateva: *<em>doesn't dodge, twists her arms and shoves her against a wall<em>*  
>Cute: *<em>still recording<em>* This is good stuff. *_grin_*  
>BB and Shadow: *<em>still watching<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>kicking everyone around her<em>*  
>Fire: *<em>puts down book<em>* I can't concentrate with all this noise.  
>Kelly: *<em>strides over to Fire<em>* Good. *_tackles, punches repeatedly_*  
>Cute: *<em>recording<em>* This is going to be a huge hit. *_laughs_* Literally.  
>Fire: *<em>shoves Kelly off<em>* Don't make me mad.  
>Kelly: Whatever.<br>Fire: *_shrugs_* You asked for it. *_trips Kelly, pins her to the ground_* Remember my name? Would you like a scar like Mello's?  
>Lahetta: *<em>walks in, watches<em>*  
>Whateva: We all know she probably does.<br>Kelly: *_glares, flips Fire over, pins to wall_* Fuck you, bitch.  
>Cute: *<em>still recording<em>* I wonder if we can make money off of this video...  
>Fire: *<em>opens switchblade, stabs Kelly in the arm and gets free<em>*  
>BB: *<em>stares at the blood<em>*  
>Kelly: *<em>ignores pain<em>* Don't even think about it, BB. *_tackles Fire, pins her, stabs her repeatedly with a knife_*  
>Lahetta: *<em>eyes widen<em>* Hey, that's my knife! *_facepalm_* Little bitch took my knife.  
>Fire: *<em>eyes turn red, body bursts into flames<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>stops fighting<em>* Damn...  
>Fire: *<em>melts knife, sets Kelly on fire<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>quickly gives Lahetta a knife before she kills Fire<em>*  
>Whateva: *<em>eyes flash in anger<em>* You did _not_ just do that. *_pushes Kelly into a nearby pool, pins Fire, chokes her_*  
>Lahetta: Uh.. She's freaking FLAMES now, you'll burn your hands, ya know. *<em>facepalm<em>*  
>Whateva: *<em>not caring, continues<em>*  
>Kelly: *<em>jumps out of pool, frying pan whacks Fire repeatedly<em>*  
>Lily: *<em>grin<em>* Cool, tag team.  
>Fire: *<em>made of flame, and immaterial<em>* You're going to have to do better than that. I warned you not to get me mad.  
>Kelly and Whateva: *<em>bored<em>* Let's beat somebody else.  
>Random neopet: *<em>walks by<em>*  
>Lahetta: *<em>facepalm<em>*  
>BB: *<em>looks at Fire curiously<em>*  
>Fire: *<em>annoyed<em>* What?  
>BB: I've set fire to some things before. Some worse than others.<br>Fire: ...Okay?  
>Echo: *<em>polishing rifle<em>* No spoilers, BB.  
>Lahetta: *<em>points gun to the random neopet<em>*  
>Random neopet: *<em>screams, stops<em>* Wait... OMG IT'S YOU, LAHETTA! *_hugs_*  
>Lahetta: *<em>turns slightly blue<em>* W-what?  
>Whateva: Oh shit. Lahetta, meet Sammi, another pet of mine.<br>Random neopet (now known as Sammi): *_stops hugging, smiles_* Wait until you meet Belle and Alsa!  
>Whateva: Sammi is a red Xweetok, Alsa is a yellow Ixi, and Belle is an evil yellow Shoyru.<br>Sun: *_recovering from fight_* Evil?  
>Whateva: You'll see.<br>Shadow: Crackshit's really becoming a mix of Whateva's pets and Death Note characters.  
>Echo: ...Damn, she has a point.<br>Whateva: Hey, it's what I do in my spare time! And I have a lot of spare time. I could update CoM, but writing is boring. 0.o Besides, I'm doing this in moderation. There are still 5 more pets to 'introduce', and then I'll probably make another account after that.  
>Belle and Alsa: *<em>poof in<em>*  
>Sammi: Hi!<br>Belle: Woah, there's a lot of pets here.  
>Echo: There was one more, but she turned into smoke because she defied logic.<br>Fire: *_reverts to normal_* Hi! I'm Fire!  
>Alsa: Hi, I'm Alsa!<br>Belle: And I'm Belle.  
>Lahetta: <strong>Oh, really? I never would've thought.<strong>  
>Sammi: There are seriously a lot of pets in here...<br>Will: At least the plot characters aren't here.  
>Shadow: *<em>jumps<em>* Will?  
>Fire: Will! *<em>hugs<em>* Damn, stop disappearing.  
>Belle: I take it you're the one who defies logic?<br>Will: I take it you're evil?  
>Belle: *<em>smirk<em>* Does it look like it?  
>Will: *<em>shrugs<em>*  
>Echo: We've got a shitload of pets and a murderer. Now what?<br>Shadow: We aren't going to start singing again, are we?  
>Belle: *<em>repeatedly stabs Kelly, licks knife<em>* Now we have a shitload of pets and two murderers.  
>Sun: That's just wrong.<br>BB: I saw it coming.  
>Will: I knew something like this would happen.<br>Fire: ...I hate not knowing.  
>Echo: You aren't the only one.<br>Belle: Whatever. *_throws Kelly's corpse out a window_*  
>Whateva: When she comes back, she's so going to kill you.<br>Belle: *_grin_* I know.  
>Will: At least we're saved from Mello rants for a little. Unless Sammi or Alsa are Mello fangirls.<br>Shadow: I thought you were omniscient?  
>Will: No. Just logic-defying.<br>BB: That explains your fucked up lifespan...  
>Sammi: Nah. I'm not a fangirl at all.<br>Alsa: I'm more for Near, anyways.  
>Sammi: *<em>jaw drop<em>* Alsa!  
>Alsa: What?<br>Echo: Near? But that means that you and Kelly have a natural rivalry.  
>Shadow: *<em>sick of listening to us, sings<em>* When the day begins, all the guilt sinks in, and I look on the wreckage of the night!  
>Alsa: Seems like it. After all, he is smarter than Mello-<br>Kelly: *_walks in looking totally pissed_* Oh, you did NOT just say that!  
>Will: Would you look at that, she's back.<br>BB: *_looks above head_* You people don't stay dead for long, huh?  
>Shadow: *<em>still singing*<em> Though I try to break free, the cycle breaks me, am I ever gonna see the light?  
>Alsa and Kelly: *<em>cat fight<em>*  
>Whateva: Fucking awesome.<br>Shadow: *_still singing_* All the friends I've lost, and the pain I've caused, have never been enough just to make me stop.  
>Fire: Why do the lyrics sound so depressing when the tune doesn't?<br>Echo: Life is strange, Fire. Just go with it.  
>Whateva: What song is that?<br>Will: "Takes Me Nowhere", Offspring. Again.  
>Shadow: *<em>still singing<em>* The lines I draw to look at myself, are turning into somebody else!  
>Belle: *<em>blankly<em>* It's pretty.  
>Shadow: *<em>getting into the swing of the song<em>* I know how this will end, but I'm starting up again. Turned around, inside out, 'cause this way...  
>Kelly: *<em>slightly bloody<em>* Any songs people actually know?  
>Alsa: *<em>very bloody<em>* Shut up.

Shadow: *_still singing_* Takes me nowhere!  
>Echo: *<em>singing backup<em>* I can't can't, see a way out.  
>Shadow: (singing) Takes me nowhere!<br>Echo: (singing) I can't can't, see a way out.  
>Shadow: (singing) Takes me nowhere!<br>Echo: (singing) I can't can't, see a way out.  
>Shadow: (singing) It beats me up!<br>Belle: *_shrugs, singing_* When I go there I know I could start again. When I go there, oh no, here we go again. Takes me nowhere! Oh no, here we go again. It beats me up!  
>Shadow: *<em>grins, sings<em>* Open on this scene, a familiar dream, of you telling me what I already know.  
>Belle: (singing) Though the truth seems near, you can't get there from here. But you sure know where you're gonna go.<br>Shadow: (singing) As the rumour wind blows, my infamy grows, seeing friends above and I hit another low.  
>Fire: Belle and Shadow singing together? That's not something I expected.<br>Belle: (singing) The picture I paint to look at myself, is turning into somebody else. I know how this will end, but I'm starting up again. Turned around, inside out, cause this way...  
>Shadow: (singing) Takes me nowhere!<br>Echo: (singing) I can't can't, see a way out.  
>Shadow: (singing) Takes me nowhere!<br>Echo: (signing) I can't can't, see a way out.  
>Shadow: (singing) Takes me nowhere!<br>Echo: (signing) I can't can't, see a way out.  
>Shadow: (signing) It beats me up!<br>Belle: (singing) When I go there I know I could start again, when I go there, Oh no, here we go again. Takes me nowhere, Oh no, here we go again. It beats me up!  
>Shadow: (singing) But today, if I change, and stop digging my own grave.<br>Belle: (singing) I will try, set things right. Cause this way... Takes me nowhere.  
>Lahetta: (singing) I can't can't see a way out.<br>Belle: (singing) Takes me nowhere.  
>Lahetta: (singing) I can't can't see a way out.<br>Belle: (singing) Takes me nowhere.  
>Lahetta: (singing) I can't can't see a way out.<br>Belle: (singing) It beats me up. When I go there.  
>Lahetta: (singing) I know I could start again.<br>Belle: (singing) When I go there.  
>Lahetta: (singing) Oh no, here we go again.<br>Belle: (singing) Takes me nowhere.  
>Lahetta: (singing) Oh no, here we go again.<br>Belle: (singing) It beats me up.  
>Echo: Well... We've burst into song twice now. Should this chapter end?<br>Whateva: M'kay.  
>Belle: *<em>evil smirk<em>* Great to hear you say that. *_pulls out knife_*  
>Alsa: Shit.<br>Belle: This is going to be fun.  
><em>12 minutes later...<em>  
>Everybody except Belle: *<em>dead or managed to escape<em>*  
>Belle: *<em>licks bloody knife<em>* Stay tuned for the next chapter. *_smile, blood-stained teeth_*  
>BB and Will: *<em>poof in, walk off with Belle<em>*  
><em>And that's how almost everybody died... again...<em>

* * *

><p><em>Echo Note: *clears throat* We no own:<em>

_Neopets, Cyborg, Raven, Starfire or Beast Boy from Teen Titans, Twilight (no complaints there), Christophe or Towlie from South Park, Dr. Phil, Youtube, the Annoying Orange, the Macarena, Mello, Near or BB from Death Note and Another Note, Mean Girls, the Ghostbusters theme song, or "Takes Me Nowhere" by the Offspring. We do, however, own the term "crackshit", unless we're very much mistaken and someone already made it up without our knowledge. That would be unfortunate.  
><em>


	3. Unintentional Puns, Road Trips and Smoke

Unintentional Puns, Road Trips and Smoke

Whateva: *_storms in, looking totally pissed_*  
>Lahetta: What happened?<br>Echo: I'm guessing poison.  
>Shadow: I'll say a blizzard.<br>Fire: Out of sprinkles. I think it's because we're out of sprinkles.  
>Whateva: Ok, sprinkles actually is one of the reasons. But not why I'm so fucking pissed. Fucking porn stars keep following me on Twitter!<br>Sun:... What? 0.o  
>Echo: *<em>snorts<em>* Sorry, but I find this kinda funny. I don't know why.  
>Will: *<em>appears in a giant flash of bright light<em>* Hey people.  
>Whateva: *<em>still pissed<em>* STOP FUCKING DEFYING LOGIC!  
>Will: Fine. *<em>sits on the ground and does nothing<em>*  
>Fire: o.0<br>Whateva: *_crosses arms_*  
>Will: *<em>still doing nothing<em>*  
>Echo: I think you broke her.<br>Shadow: *_sigh and facepalm_*  
>Alsa: *<em>walks in<em>* Hey, guys! I brought pie.  
>Echo: PIE! *<em>runs over<em>*  
>Will: *<em>stands up and walks over in a completely logical way<em>*  
>Whateva: *<em>facepalm, walks over to get pie<em>*  
>Belle: *<em>walks in, OOC moment<em>* And I brought pizza!  
>Will: *<em>starts to teleport, then remembers she's supposed to be logical now*<em>  
>Shadow: What kind of pizza?<br>Belle: *_still OOC, opens box_* One slice of everything.  
>Shadow: *<em>takes olive slice<em>*  
>Whateva: *<em>quickly takes pepperoni slice<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>slice of pie in one hand, takes a slice of supreme pizza*<em>  
>Alivia: *<em>takes anchovies slice<em>*  
>Everyone: *<em>takes their slice*<em>  
>Echo: *<em>finishes<em>* That wasn't enough.  
>Will: *<em>hands her a supreme slice<em>*  
>Echo: I thought there was only one-<br>Will: Oh right, I'm not supposed to defy logic. *_the slice disappears_*  
>Echo: ...DAMN!<br>Belle: I will never understand you people.  
>Will: *<em>snickers<em>* What's there to understand?  
>Shadow: Is this going to turn into a deep conversation? We haven't done that yet, but I don't know if we should...<br>Whateva: DO IT! DO IT! :D  
>Everyone: *<em>sits in a circle<em>*  
>Fire: *<em>expecting a Fire pun at any moment now*<em>  
>Lahetta: Sometimes, violence helps shadow-<br>Whateva: *_bursts out laughing_*  
>Fire: *<em>genuinely surprised*<em>  
>Echo: *<em>claps her on the back<em>* Don't feel bad, Fire. It's not like you're living in your sister's shadow!  
>Will: *<em>amused grin*<em>  
>Shadow: It was only a matter of time...<br>Belle: *_thinks_* That can't help but sound like it echoes-  
>Dusty: *<em>laughing<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>rolls her eyes<em>* Whatever-  
>Will: *<em>points at Whateva<em>* Ha!  
>Echo: Oh yeah... Unintentional puns!<br>Whateva: _*tries to glare, but laughs_*  
>Shadow: *<em>laughing too<em>* So much for a deep conversation, huh?  
>Cute: This was actually deep, if you think about it.<br>Echo: I disagree. Puns are considered the lowest form of humour, next to prop comedy. A deep conversation is between people who are searching for a complex answer to the big questions in life, but sometimes they find that the answers aren't actually that hard to find. Some can be so simple, they get overlooked.  
>Whateva: ...I say that's pretty deep.<br>Echo: *_smiles_* It's philosophy, you know? Asking rhetorical questions and maybe even finding answers. Life isn't meant to be understood, but we all go around trying to understand it anyway. Why do you think that is?  
>Sun:... Because we're douches?<br>Belle: *_shakes head_*  
>Will: *<em>looks expectantly at Fire<em>*  
>Fire: Maybe it's because we were gifted with extreme intelligence, compared to other species. With it came a thirst for knowledge and a want to know everything we possibly can.<br>Belle: Even about death itself.  
>Lahetta: Okaaay, this is gettin' creepy.<br>Shadow: It's true. No one knows what happens after death, just like we don't know how we will die.  
>Will: And maybe some things are better left unknown, as Echo was planning to say.<br>Echo: That was EXACTLY what I was planning to say!  
>Belle: Indeed.<br>Whateva: Creeeepy.  
>Will: I'm not the most philosophy interested person, so I just say what others have to say.<br>Echo: The questions of life and death may also have the same answers. Life and death are two sides of the same coin, after all.  
>Kelly: Alright, this is deep enough.<br>Echo: Nope, I think this isn't deep enough.  
>Fire: Maybe we live to die. Or maybe we die so we can live?<br>Belle: Maybe we live to save those who might die before they should?  
>Will: Or we live to kill those that will live too long?<br>Fire: I thought you said you weren't philosophical.  
>Will: I'm not. I just turned Belle's words around.<br>Belle: *_ice glare_*  
>Will: It's relevant to the conversation.<br>Shadow: Maybe life has no real, specific meaning.  
>Echo: You mean like the meaning of life is different to everyone who lives and will ever live?<br>Whateva: Alright, fucking cut it out.  
>Echo: *<em>whining<em>* But we're on a roll here!  
>Whateva: But you're scaring me! D:<br>Echo: Philosophy is terrifying! I thought everyone knew that!  
>Fire: Maybe we should stop. I'm running out of deep things to say.<br>Lahetta: And I'm tuning out.  
>Will: And I'm tuning in. *<em>moves a finger back and forth<em>*  
><em>Will is able to broadcast FM radio stations...<em>  
>Belle: *<em>facepalm<em>*  
>Will: Word play is fun. *<em>loses signal<em>* Damn...  
>Alsa: *<em>moves Will's ear<em>* I wonder if this is the antennae...  
>Will: DON'T DO THAT! THAT'S THE- *<em>her ear turns into a satellite dish<em>* OW! No, my fingers control radio! *_pokes her ear, it turns back to normal*_  
>Sammi: *<em>laughing<em>*  
>Will: Defying logic hurts.<br>Sammi: *_now giggling_* But that was hilarious.  
>Will: Yeah. But it hurt.<br>Echo: Feel it, acknowledge it, ignore it.  
>Whateva: Dude, a reference at this time?<br>Echo: References are what keep us alive. And so far, we have had none.  
>Alsa: Yep.<br>Fire: So now what do we do? Blow something up? Invite in random characters from random places? Go somewhere and just end up burning it to the ground? Because that's what we always do. Every time.  
>Lahetta: Pretty much.<br>Whateva: LET'S BLOW THIS FUCKER UP!  
>Shadow: *<em>confused<em>* What fucker? We're in the middle of nowhere.  
>Whateva: Awwwwwwwww.<br>Will: I guess now I should suggest the road trip. Road trip, anyone?  
>Lahetta: *<em>poofs up a trailer<em>* Hell yes.  
><em>After everyone had packed and gotten into the RV and trailer (space was limited)...<em>  
>Shadow: Who's driving?<br>Tawni: *_raises hand_*  
>Fire: Just as long as we don't all die again...<br>Echo: *_flashback_*  
>Tawni: *<em>driving<em>*  
>Belle: Charades, anyone?<br>Will: Got nothing better to do. Who's up first?  
>Everybody: *<em>looks at Fire<em>*  
>Fire: *<em>thinks<em>* Uh... *_does a whirring motion with her hands_*  
>Echo: It's a movie.<br>Fire: *_nods, holds up five fingers_*  
>Echo: Five words...<br>Fire: *_nods again, taps five fingers against her arm_*  
>Echo: With five syllables.<br>Fire: *_holds up one finger_*  
>Shadow: The first word...<br>Fire: *_shows a small space between two fingers_*  
>Shadow: It's a small word.<br>Gracie: Titanic?  
>Whateva: *<em>facepalm<em>*  
>Will: *<em>deadpan<em>* The.  
>Fire: *<em>nods, holds up four fingers and does the same gesture<em>*  
>Whateva: *<em>deep thinking<em>* The... The...  
>Fire: *<em>holds up five fingers<em>*  
>Will: Fifth word.<br>Fire: *_holds the base of one of her fingers and does a circular motion_*  
>Gracie: The Wheel?<br>Lahetta: *_facepalm_*  
>Fire: *<em>shakes head, motions to her finger again<em>*  
>Gracie: *<em>confused<em>* The Exorcist?  
>Cute: *<em>annoyed sigh*<em>  
>Fire: *<em>facepalm and sigh<em>*  
>Will: *<em>bored<em>* Ring.  
>Fire: *<em>nods<em>*  
>Gracie: *<em>whines<em>* No fair! She defies logic!  
>Will: But even I can tell that "The Exorcist" doesn't have five words in the title.<br>Gracie: Eight is close!  
>Shadow: Come on guys. The something something the ring.<br>Fire: *_shakes head, holds up five fingers, makes the circular motion again and holds up multiple fingers_*  
>Shadow: Rings?<br>Gracie: Lord of the Rings?  
>Alsa: <em>*rolls eyes<em>*

Fire: Yes.  
>Echo: *<em>leaning against her seat*<em> That was painful to watch.  
>Alsa: Wait... she was actually right?<br>Gracie: *_grinning stupidly_*  
>Fire: Yep. *<em>picks up a book<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>snorts<em>* We're on a road trip. This is just funny for some reason.  
>Gracie: *<em>hilarious victory dance<em>*  
>V: *<em>recording<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>plays "We Are the Champions" by Queen<em>*  
>Whateva: Love that.<br>Echo: Everyone needs a victory song to accompany their victory dance.  
>Gracie: *<em>grinning<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>suddenly bored*<em> Now what? And where are we going anyway?  
>Tawni: *<em>realization<em>* Nowhere, really.  
>Shadow: So we're driving aimlessly?<br>Tawni: *_still driving, turns right_* Yep.  
>Echo: Maybe we should have hired Tomos v.E and our map of Neopia...<br>Alsa: _*suddenly has a map_* Here!  
>Whateva: Where did that come from?<br>Lahetta: *_facepalm_* She's an Ixi.  
><em> Awkward silence...<em>  
>Echo: *<em>breaks the silence, snorts<em>* HA!  
>Will: *<em>goes to a glove compartment, takes out Tomos v.E*<em> And here's Tomos.  
>Tomos v.E: *<em>dusts himself off<em>* Thanks Will.  
>Alivia: *<em>loss for words<em>* How...  
>Will: *<em>points at Alsa's map<em>* Tomos. Dart.  
>Tomos v.E: Sure thing. Uh... where's the dart?<br>Echo: Uh, Alsa?  
>Alsa: *<em>winces, gives dart<em>*  
>Tomos v.E: *<em>holds it with two fingers<em>* Thanks... *_throws dart at map_*  
>Sammi: *<em>looks over<em>* Oh, you can't be serious...  
>Fire: Lutari Island? But none of us are Lutari! We can't go there!<br>Alsa: I have morphing potions.  
>Dusty: How- Nevermind...<br>Fire: You're kidding right? Why would we all morph into Roxton's crappy species just go on some island?  
>Cute: *<em>pulls out a scrapbook<em>* But...  
>Shadow: *<em>looks at scrapbook<em>* Oh my Fyora...  
>V: *<em>curious, looks over<em>*  
>Echo: What is it? Can someone tell us? I think we've built up enough suspense.<br>Lahetta: *_looks_* Holy shit.  
>Whateva: And the suspense continues.<br>Fire: *_jaw drop_*  
>Echo: And more...<br>Alivia: *_gasps_*  
>Belle: And more.<br>Tomos v.E: What's with all the- *_notices_* Oh wow.  
>Will: This is starting to piss me off.<br>Whateva: Me too.  
>Echo: You know what? *<em>grabs scrapbook and throws it out the RV window<em>* There. Now we will never know. Problem solved.  
>Cute: *<em>pulls out a backup scrapbook<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>eye twitch, goes to a corner and carves her name into the wall*<em>  
>Whateva: Fuck, not again.<br>Echo: *_unresponsive, keeps carving_*  
>Cute: *<em>slowly puts scrapbook away<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>slowly lowers knife*<em>  
>Shadow: So... Lutari Island, or do we throw the dart again?<br>Whateva: *_throws dart_*  
>Tomos v.E: Altador.<br>Echo: *_goes back from corner_* And play some Yooyuball? Sure.  
>Whateva: Daammmmnnnn.<br>Echo: Look, we all know that Altador is an incredibly dull place, so let's just... Huh, should we throw the dart again?  
>Sun: <em>*throws dart<em>*  
>Fire: Faerieland?<br>Whateva: 0.o  
>Shadow: Look, this story hasn't been very Neopets-oriented, so we need to go to a place in Neopia. Does someone have a preference?<br>Gracie: A what?  
>Lahetta: *<em>facepalm<em>*  
>Shadow: <em>*talks slowly and clearly<em>* Is there a place that you want to go to?  
>Gracie: *<em>nods<em>* Oh, right! ...No.  
>Shadow: Anyone else?<br>_Silence..._  
>Shadow: -_- *<em>takes out rocket grenade launcher<em>* WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE GOING?  
>Echo: Aw fuck, we got her mad.<br>Sammi: *_calmly_* Faerieland.  
>Shadow: *<em>points RGL at Tawni<em>* Drive.  
>Tawni: Fuck you. I'd drive anyways. ...Oh shit, out of gas.<br>Will: *_slams fist against the dashboard_* Full again. *_sits down*_  
>Tawni: *<em>rolls eyes, drives<em>*  
><em>Silence...<em>  
>Fire: Montage?<br>Lahetta: *_excitedly_* Can I do it?  
>Dusty: *<em>curiously<em>* What song?  
>Echo: Song Wheel?<br>Tomos v.E: *_spins the Song Wheel*_  
>Will: Where did that come from?<br>Fire: You mean you don't know?  
>Will: Nope.<br>Lahetta: *_watches wheel spin_* Fuck it. *_snaps fingers_*  
><em>6 minutes later...<em>  
>Lahetta: There.<br>Echo: Faerieland! LET'S BLOW THIS BITCH UP-  
>Will: Not again.<br>Echo: Oh right. Let's slowly and randomly mess around until the city comes crashing down upon itself.  
>Belle: *<em>shoots the Healing Springs faerie<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>places explosives next to the Rainbow Fountain<em>*  
>Will: *<em>retrieves TDMBGPOP*<em>  
>Sammi: *<em>throws bomb near the wheel*<em>  
>Fire: *<em>lives up to her name next to Jhudora's Bluff*<em>  
>Gracie: Let's blow up Fyora's castle! :D<br>Everyone: ALRIGHT! :D  
><em>Transition...<em>  
>Sun: *<em>looks forward<em>* Holy crap.  
><em>In front of them are four Fyora's.<em>..  
>Fyora v.A, Fyora v.P, Fyora v.E, Fyora v.W: *<em>talking to each other*<em>  
>Whateva: That's more Fyora than I ever wanted to see.<br>Echo: *_ages to nine_* How're we gonna blow it up now? *_whines_*  
>Belle: *<em>takes out knife<em>*  
><em>4 minutes later...<em>  
>Fyoras: *<em>brutally murdered<em>*  
>Belle: *<em>covered in blood<em>*  
>Whateva: *<em>jaw drop<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>still nine, in shock<em>*  
>Will: They'll come back soon.<br>Belle: *_licks knife_* Of course.  
>Echo: *<em>ages to twenty seven<em>* So... explosion time?  
>Whateva: *<em>grin<em>* Hell yes.  
><em>After placing crazy amounts of C4 everywhere...<em>  
>Cute and Alivia: *<em>texting<em>*  
>Alsa: *<em>texts them<em>* "R U FFIN KDDN ME?"  
>Other People: *<em>exchange annoyed glares<em>*  
>Echo: Aaaannnndddd... DETONATION! *<em>presses the button<em>*  
><em>Nothing happens...<em>  
>Whateva: What the hell?<br>Towlie: *_poofs in_* Wanna get high?  
>Tawni: Because everything is better with a bag of weed.<br>Will: It's the fuses. The main one is broken.  
>Alsa: *<em>annoyed sigh<em>*  
>Fire: *<em>sprints away to go fix it*<em>  
>Everybody: *<em>waits<em>*  
>Tawni: THIS IS SO FUCKING BORING!<br>Echo: *_shrugs_* You could have followed her.  
>Tawni: That's even more boring.<br>Will: Actually, while we were all sitting here, Fire's gone through Fyora's Castle to find the main fuse. She found a couple of books, a paintbrush, and a very nice glowing sword on her way.  
>V: That little bitch...<br>Echo: Like I said, you could have followed her.  
>Lahetta: How much longer?<br>Will: Twelve minutes. That castle's full of damn hallways.  
>Sun: Fuuuuuuck.<br>Echo: _*pokes Fire_* Slap.  
>Fire: *<em>slaps Echo<em>* Poke.  
>Echo and Fire: *<em>repeat<em>*  
>Whateva: *<em>jaw slowly dropping<em>*  
>Echo: *<em>pokes<em>* Slap.  
>Fire: *<em>pokes<em>* Slap.  
>Echo: *<em>slaps<em>* Poke.  
>Fire: *<em>pokes<em>* Slap.  
>Belle: When did she get here?<br>Fire: *_looks up, talks in Will's voice_* No, I'm Will. I got bored.  
><em>Bright light...<em>  
>Will: *<em>sitting where Fire was seconds ago<em>*  
>Belle: That's not fucking possible!<br>Alivia: Exactly. *_poofs into smoke_*  
>Belle: *<em>loss for words*<em>  
>Shadow: And the saddest part is that it's only been five minutes.<br>Echo: *_facepalm_* Damn.  
>Whateva: *<em>poofs into smoke also*<em>  
>Belle: <em>*R+ swearing*<em>  
>Lahetta: Wow. Didn't know you swore.<br>Shadow: Why is everyone- *_poofs into smoke_*  
>Echo: *<em>blinks at the irony of the situation<em>*  
>Nearly everyone: *<em>poofs into smoke<em>*  
>Belle: *<em>illegal swearing<em>*  
>Will: *<em>watching everything without poofing into smoke*<em>  
>Echo: Damn this is ironic...<br>Cute: Call 91- *_poofs into smoke_*  
>Belle: *<em>more illegal swearing*<em>  
>Dusty: *<em>to Echo<em>* I kn-  
>Echo: *<em>poofs into smoke<em>*  
>Dusty: D: <em>*poofs into smoke*<em>  
>Belle: *<em>serious illegal swearing<em>*  
>Will: *<em>only member of Echo's Narration Office left<em>* Huh.  
>Belle: *<em>only other person<em>* ...So?  
>Will: I actually don't know why this is happening.<br>Fire: *_runs back_* Okay, I fixed the fuse, and I got these really cool- *_stops_* Where is everyone?  
>Belle: *<em>blankly<em>* Gone.  
>Will: Poofed to smoke. Kinda funny, actually.<br>Fire: *_puts down her stuff_* So does that mean- *_poofs into smoke_*  
>Will: <strong>...Yeah, who didn't see that coming?<strong>  
>Belle: It was obvious. Now- *<em>poofs into smoke<em>*  
>Will: *<em>alone, looks through Fire's stuff<em>* Book... Another book... Glowing sword... Book... Woodland Paint Brush... Book- Oh come on, how many books can one girl read- *_poofs into smoke_*  
><em>Transition to the land of the smoke...<em>

Belle: *_killing smoke monsters_*  
>Whateva: *<em>reading a book<em>* Hey, this isn't smo- *_book poofs into smoke_*  
>Lahetta: *<em>laughs<em>* Finally, something Neopets in this.  
>Will: *<em>floats over<em>* Hey.  
>Shadow: *<em>barely visible<em>* Are we in some weird Neopets smoke dimension?  
>Echo: HOLY SHIT, DID WE JUST DISCOVER A NEW LAND? If we did, then it's kinda crappy...<br>Lily: It could be worse.  
>Tawni: *<em>floating<em>* How?  
>Lily: It could be raining.<br>_Silence..._  
>Lily: See?<br>Belle: Or burning.  
><em>Fire in the distance...<em>  
>Whateva: Crap.<br>Fire: *_floats toward the flames and stares intently_*  
>Echo: That's hardly surprising. This is a smoke realm. Or Moltara without gravity.<br>Belle: *_practically hypnotised by fire_*  
>Whateva: *<em>stares at fire<em>* Pretty...  
>Fire: Pyro...<br>Echo: Shit, not again. HEY PEOPLE, WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING STUPID SO WE CAN BLOW UP FYORA'S CASTLE!  
>Lahetta: LIKE WHAT?<br>Cloud: *_poofs in_* Don't yell! D:  
>Whateva: Stay.<br>Cloud: ... Okay.  
>Shadow: How did we get here in the first place? Maybe if we knew that, we could do the opposite to get back to Faerieland.<br>Belle: *_blankly_* Talking.  
>Fire: *<em>still staring at the fire<em>* Maybe if we all shut up and looked at the fire, we'll go back.  
>Echo: *<em>shrugs<em>* Worth a shot. *_stares at the fire_*  
>Everyone: *<em>staring at the fire in silence*<em>  
><em>A few minutes later...<em>  
>Everyone: *<em>poofs into smoke, reappear outside of Fyora's castle<em>*  
>Whateva: Convenient.<br>Echo: *_pulls out detonator once again_* LETS BLOW THIS BITCH UP! *_presses button*_  
><em>Major explosion...<em>  
>Belle: *<em>covered in ashes, grinning*<em>  
>Lily: Whoa.<br>Echo: *_hair messed up_* THAT WAS FUCKING EPIC!  
>Whateva: *<em>one jacket sleeve ripped off<em>* HELL YEAH!  
>Echo: ...Now what?<br>Fire: *_picks up the Woodland Paint Brush_* We could sell this.  
>V: Or use it on Jazan and sell him to fangirls.<br>Fire: Hm... Which Jazan?  
>Tawni: v.E. Fangirls will seriously want a guitaring Jazan 'statue'.<br>Echo: *_punches palm_* Let's do this.  
><em>Transition...<em>  
>Whateva: *<em>knocks on door<em>* Wow, deja vu.  
>Echo: You mean of our killing spree?<br>Fire: *_shocked_* What? You guys had a killing spree?  
>BB: *<em>poofs in<em>* Yes we did.  
>Echo: B...<br>BB: *_shrugs, poofs out_*  
>Belle: *<em>awe<em>* All the blood.  
>Whateva: Anyways- Hey, this fucker ain't answering.<br>Echo: RAGS. It's a bitch to deal with.  
>Voice: Meanwhile, Jazan v.E is trying to still his arms so he can answer the door...<br>Whateva: Ahahahaha.  
>Will: *<em>small smile<em>*  
><em>Two minutes later...<em>  
>Jazan v.E: *<em>finally opens door*<em>  
>V: NOW! *<em>pulls a sack over his head*<em>  
>Everyone: *<em>pulling the sack away from Jazan v.E's house*<em>  
>Shadow: *<em>pauses<em>* That was easy. *_presses the Easy Button_*  
>V: Alright, who has the paintbrush?<br>Fire: *_hands it over to V*_  
>V: *<em>paints Jazan<em>*  
>Voice: 12 minutes later...<br>Jazan v.E: *_woodland and air-guitaring_*  
>Fire: Now what?<br>Echo: What do you mean? Now we sell him on Ebay.  
>Whateva: *<em>looking at screen<em>* Holy crap, fangirls are going crazy.  
><em>Hours later...<em>  
>Everyone: *<em>rolling in the money<em>*  
>Nabile v.E: *<em>walks in<em>* Hey, have you guys seen my husband?  
>Echo: Oh... Well... It's a funny story actually... We kinda... Uh...<br>Will: We painted him and sold him on Ebay.  
>V: *<em>waiting for a reaction<em>* 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...  
>Nabile v.E: *<em>explodes<em>* YOU IDIOTS! *_mood swing_* How much money did you get?  
>Cute: About 24,000. *<em>grins<em>*  
>Nabile v.E: Well, it's mine now. My husband, my money. *<em>takes the money and leaves<em>*  
>Belle: *<em>loads gun<em>* She did not just do that...  
>Echo: She did.<br>Will: I sense BB.  
>BB: *<em>poofs in<em>* You're all going to die now.  
>Everyone: *<em>heads explode*<em>  
><em>And that's how everyone died... This is really becoming a trend now...<em>

* * *

><p><em>Echo Note: Neither Whateva876 nor I own the following: Neopets, Twitter, Titanic, The Exorcist, The Lord of the Rings, "We Are the Champions" by Queen, Fyora v.A or v.P (we apologise for their brutal murders), Towlie from South Park, the "Everything is Better With a Bag of Weed" song from Family Guy, BB from Another Note, or the Easy Button from Staples. They all belong to their respective owners.<br>_


End file.
